


Supposed to be Better

by wonderlandiscrumbling



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Confrontation, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Illness, Oswald and Ed meeting again, Tension, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 11:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13270935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderlandiscrumbling/pseuds/wonderlandiscrumbling
Summary: Lee rescues Oswald from police custody in hopes that he can help her and the others bring down Sofia Falcone, also because Ed has a list of things he needs to say to him.





	1. Chapter 1

Oswald pulled the over-sized purple and black striped jacket tighter around himself as he sat curled up in the backseat of the beat up old car. He gritted his teeth, a surge of annoyance flowing through his body as Dr. Thompkins took a sharp right turn nearly throwing him from the left side of the car to the right. He gripped the headrest of the seat in front of him, fingers digging against the cheap faux gray leather as he braced himself before she took another hard turn. He bit back the urge to make a comment on her erratic driving, deep down he knew that he should be grateful that she was driving him far from the situation involving Falcone and Gordon. Suddenly she took another turn pulling behind a recently closed pawn shop, she put on the brakes, the old car taking another painful jerk as it came to a stop. Lee turned to look at him, her dark brown eyes looking over the small agitated man in the backseat of the stolen car.

“Before I take you to the Narrows we need to talk.”

He rolled his eyes, he sighed heavily. “What on Earth would we have to talk about, if you’re concerned that I have some master plan to hurt you or Ed for that instance, I don’t.” He assured as he folded his arms across his chest.

Lee almost laughed watching him pout, his small frame, and his black hair flopped over his face. Something about him was incredibly childish, almost too much so for her to take him as a threat of any sort. She’d never once really found him threatening, just another insecure sociopath, or at least a man pretending he was a sociopath, wishing desperately to be void of human emotion, but always feeling far too much and much too strongly to hit that mark.

“I know, trust me I could kill you and throw you in that dumpster over there if I thought that.” She casually stated as she nodded her head in the direction of the dumper merely a few feet away from the car. She smiled sweetly as she saw Oswald’s eyes widen slightly, lips pressing into a thin line.

“Then what do you want?”

“One of the main reasons I’m saving your ass right now is because I know queen bitch is after you, I also know that you spent enough time with her that perhaps you of all people could help me and a few others take her down. Another reason that I’m even bothering with you in the first place is because it was Ed’s idea.”

Oswald furrowed his brow, confusion almost completely replacing his annoyance. “Ed, why on Earth would that idiot want me anywhere near him?”

Lee took a deep breath refraining from snapping at him for referring to Ed as an idiot. “He didn’t know about your situation until I told him, news doesn’t exactly hit the Narrows as quickly as either of us would like it to. He won’t say it, but I know that he misses you. He knows how hard you’ve worked for what you have, and he hates to see you lose it especially to her.” 

“Let me guess after I help he’s going to go back to being the Riddler and threatening to kill me again?” He asked rolling his eyes. 

“No, he isn’t, Ed’s sick Oswald.”

She watched as he slowly lowered his arms, he folded his hands on his lap. In no time his mask of annoyance and superiority was gone, replaced by a genuine look of worry as he looked at her waiting for a more specific statement. 

“What’s wrong with him?” He asked, voice soft.

“He’s mentally ill, he has schizophrenia and a dissociative identity disorder.” She noted that look of confusion occurring again, he ran his tongue across his bottom lip and nervously fidgeted with his fingers. “I had assumed you knew, just that you didn’t care.” She said as she realized he hadn’t known about Ed’s disorders.

Oswald shook his head, he pushed his fingers back through his hair attempting to keep it out of his face, but it ended up flopping over his forehead again a second later. “Of course, I care, if I knew then I….” He trailed off looking away from her. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if he had known about Ed’s condition. “I knew he saw things, when he had started dating Isabella he had told me he’d seen Kristen in her bathroom mirror, but I hadn’t…I hadn’t exactly paid much attention to him.” He mentally cursed himself for ignoring something so obvious, he’d been so elated to hear that something might cause Ed to break it off with that woman that he hadn’t caught the glaring red flag of what it meant.

Lee sighed, she reached out placing her hand on his shoulder giving a reassuring squeeze. He looked from her hand to her face. “I’ve been working on helping him after I got him to tell me about it, he wasn’t exactly willing to disclose the truth to me. After I caught him driving his fist into a mirror in the locker room he finally told me.” 

“Is, is he okay?” He cautiously asked, honestly not sure he could handle hearing that he wasn’t.

She smiled softly, “He’s doing better, it’s a process.” The echo of gun fire and police sirens sounded in the distance pulling them both back to their current situation. Lee turned her attention back to what her main goal had been, getting them the hell out of here before anybody could arrest or kill them.


	2. Chapter 2

Oswald climbed out of the backseat of the car, he winced at the sharp pain he felt as he put weight onto his bad leg. He looked around at his surroundings, a small smile forming on his lips for just a split second as a wave of nostalgia hit him along with the rotted stench that permeated the air of the Narrows. He could hear couples fighting, gun shots, screams, and even from somewhere a bit off, the sound of children playing. It was an odd mixture of sounds and scents, some pleasant like the scent of freshly baked bread, but others horrid as if he’d walked into a room filled to the ceiling with rotting corpses. 

As dangerous as the Narrows could be, he had spent far too much time as a child and teenager in the area. He’d been quite naturally drawn to it, the wonders of it acting as a demented Wonderland. He chuckled as he remembered the older boy who had sold him his first switch blade when he had been merely thirteen years old. In this wretched part of the city he had learned to pick pocket, steal, and had even had his first kill though it of course like most first murders, had been purely by accident and self-defense. 

“So, I am safe to assume that you have a plan about how we are going to take care of Ms. Falcone?” Oswald inquired as he watched Lee grab a duffel bag from the trunk of the car.

“For the most part, I still need to call a few people, and then we can figure out the rest tonight.” She started to walk past him, he stopped her by firmly grabbing her arm. She stopped turning to look at him, he bit his tongue to keep from commenting on her rolling her eyes at him. “What?”

“I’m sorry if this may sound rude, considering you did just save me from your ex and a crazed assassin, but I would like to know who it is you are contacting before I go anywhere else with you.”

She tilted her head to the side looking at him. “That’s funny considering you were nearly killed by Jerome Valeska and you still trusted him enough to bust you out of Arkham, how did that work out by the way?”

Oswald shifted his weight to his good leg, he cleared his throat and gave a pitiful attempt at making himself appear taller. He hated being stuck in these rags, he felt small and weak, all refinery missing, and leaving him with a feeling of nudity that he despised. “Look I was desperate and I will take care of that situation at a later time, tell me who you are calling….Please.” He said the last part through gritted teeth, she laughed, and he wanted to kill her for a second.

“Wow you really are desperate. Okay, I need to get a hold of Barbara and her goons.”

He let go of her arm and took a step back, “Barbara Kean, the same woman who has tried to kill me multiple times now and is currently running my club?” He yelled, voice cracking slightly.

“Yes, that one, look she’s having the same issues that we are. It turns out that Sofia isn’t as buddy with the girls as she likes to pretend she is and Barbara is a bit pissed that shock shock, Jim screwed Sofia.”

Oswald let out a heavy sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I am well aware that he and her did that. How do you know that they can be trusted?”

“I don’t, I don’t even know that I can trust you, and honestly I still don’t trust you, but Ed still trust you or cares about you for some reason.”

He glared at her, he felt a need to defend himself, and begin listing the list of Ed’s offenses, but stopped himself. He thought over what she’d told him before, he realized to an extent it hurt knowing that this woman knew his former best friend better than he apparently ever had. 

“Why does he trust you so much?” 

“We used to work together back at the GCPD, I always thought he was nice, and ever since he was thawed out I’ve been seeing more of the guy I was friends with back then. It’s pretty amazing how much trust somebody can put in you when you don’t screw them over.” She said looking at him pointedly, she noticed the way his eye twitched as he took full offense to her insinuation. He stepped closer to her angrily pointing a finger at her.

“What I did, I did for him.”

“Sure, you did, keep telling yourself that.” She turned from him and started back towards the fight club.

Oswald quietly followed behind her, he looked at the neon cherry signs in the windows, a crudely written closed sign hanging on the door. He waited as she unlocked the door holding it open for him and ushering him inside, he entered the dimly lit club. He vaguely remembered the place from his teens, it was a spot he would visit on occasion to pick pocket the drunk betters who were too wrapped up in watching two muscular bikers tearing each other to pieces to notice a kid stealing their wallets. He had had decent success until the owner of the club had caught him, had him beaten, and then banned for life.

Lee pushed past him, he followed her towards a back office watching as she threw the duffel bag onto a desk. She opened it and began rummaging inside pulling out the contents. She sat the boxes of bullets to one side and the two handguns to the other side, Oswald eyed the guns hoping she would offer to give him one for protection. She looked up at him noticing his staring.

“Ed’s in the dressing room, it’s two doors down.” 

“Oh…Right, thank you, but I was thinking that perhaps I could have a gun since we are planning on going up against a band of dangerous people.”

“Not a chance, go talk to Ed, and tonight I’ll decide if I trust you enough to give you a gun.”

He let out a frustrated sigh before turning and leaving the room making a point of it to slam the office door shut behind him. He made his way to the dressing room, he stopped outside the closed door feeling suddenly anxious. He nervously pulled at his fingers as he looked at the door before him, he smiled sadly recalling feeling this anxiety from when he had spent an entire day trying to find the right way to ask Ed to go out with him, to tell him he loved him. He closed his eyes, he let out a shaky breath as he realized just how much he still really did love him. 

“Just go inside, it’s Ed, it’s just plain dumb Ed.” He whispered to himself before wrapping his fingers around the door knob.

He opened the door pushing it open, he stepped into the room feeling his anxiety worsen for a moment. 

The room was relatively small and crowded, in a way it almost reminded him of his mother’s bedroom. He noted the racks of clothes that lined two of the walls, to his left was a vanity placed up against the wall, makeup and jewelry strewn across the surface. Music played softly in the room, some Iggy Pop song he recognized and realized he hadn’t heard in quite some time. He saw Ed going through costumes, his back to him seeming not to notice his presence. He decided to just take that moment to force himself to relax, to remind himself of who this was, who they used to be. 

Oswald closed the door, the sound drawing Ed’s attention, he turned around to face him. The tension flooded the room, not the dangerous knife to throat tension he remembered from a year ago, not the knife in his heart tension from the docks. This was just an uncomfortable confusing tension that filled him with the urge to run, he wasn’t quite used to these sorts of situations. He looked at Ed trying to read what he was feeling, but found he looked as deer in the headlights as he felt. 

“Hi” Ed breathed out, he laughed nervously. He ran his hands down over the front of his fitted black vest then tugged at the sleeves of his white dress shirt before running shaking fingers back through his messed brown hair. 

“Hello, Ed. I just, Ms. Thompkins just brought me here.” He said lamely gesturing back towards the door.

Ed nodded, he looked over the smaller man taking in the bruises and cuts on his face, noticing how horribly disheveled he looked. “Yes, she told me she was going to get you. I mean, I…I’m sorry, I’m honestly just a bit surprised that you even came here.”

Oswald carefully walked into the room, he moved to the vanity and began picking up items and looking at them jut for a form of comforting distraction. If he knew his surroundings better, then he could feel more in control. “Why shouldn’t I come, we all want to get rid of Sofia from what I hear.”

“Right, so that’s the reason you agreed to come then.” He said, a tone of disappointment obvious in his voice. 

“She said that you wanted to talk to me, that you wanted me here more than she does.” He inquired looking up at him. He noticed how Ed glanced away from him, preferring to look at anything that wasn’t him.

“That, that’s correct.”

“Alright, so let’s talk.”

Silence followed, he watched as Ed began pacing back and forth before him. It was a habit he knew him to have, one of his ways of clearing his mind and organizing his thoughts when they became too jumbled and too complicated. Oswald decided it best to stay quiet and just let him think through what he needed to say, this didn’t feel like it was his conversation to control. After a few minutes he stopped in his pacing and turned to face him, his brown eyes seeming more focused, but an evident look of hurt filling them.

“Oswald, I, I want to forgive you for everything that happened, but I don’t know if I can. I know that you aren’t even sorry for any of the things that you did to me.” He stopped for a moment, he laughed then ran his hand over his face. “I know I did things, I did things I don’t even fully remember, and I don’t know how to explain to you what is wrong with me or what I did.” There was a pained look on his face, something terrified and pleading to the way he was speaking and looking at him as if in need of help.

“Lee told me in the car, she told me that you have schizophrenia and a dissociative disorder, why didn’t you tell me?”

Ed looked away from him, “I didn’t exactly feel like it was something I should disclose with you. I wanted to be somebody that you trusted and would want by your side, I figured if you knew that I’m sick then you would just throw me back in Arkham.” 

“You know I would never have done something like that.” He argued feeling hurt that he could think he could be so petty and callous.

“How should I know you wouldn’t do that, I trusted you Oswald. You did so many nice things for me and I felt like you supported me and wanted me to be happy.”

Oswald rolled his eyes as he realized where the conversation was going to. “Oh, please don’t bring this back to that girl, I admit I was wrong to kill her. I’m sorry that I paid Gabe the moron to kill your lunatic girlfriend.” 

Ed stepped closer to him looking angry, “I trusted you, I trusted you to not hurt me. It doesn’t matter if she was the one, if she was good for me, or not. It was the point that I thought that you were my friend and that you wanted me to be happy, but you didn’t care if I was happy. You’re just like him, you were supposed to be better than him!” He yelled slamming his fist down on the vanity top, the sound causing Oswald to jump and take a step back. 

“Him who, Ed who are you talking about?” 

Ed looked at him, he relaxed as he moved away from him turning his back to him again. He was quiet for a moment feeling nervous as he tried to work through what he needed to say.

“When I was a teenager I…I started seeing myself in the mirror, not just my reflection, but like another version of myself. He would give me advice, tell me how to handle bullies at school.” He paused smiling to himself. “He even helped me escape from my parents house, gave me a whole step by step battle plan on how to steal and hoard away money so I’d have enough to escape….After that he was gone until years later.” He glanced towards Oswald trying to read his expression, but found himself drawing a blank. “I never knew what to call him, I just lied and told myself he was a part of my imagination until he started taking control of my body, but then suddenly it was over, and I thought my problem was solved….That was until you killed Isabella.”

Oswald toyed with the hem of the sleeve of his shirt, he felt he was getting a better handle on what was wrong with Ed and how he hadn’t helped the situation. 

Ed continued again once he was sure the other man had no comment or question. “He told me everything would be okay, he told me that all I had to do was listen to him, and let him take control again. I listened of course, this is the same guy who helped me escape my father who beat the crap out of me on a daily basis, why would he lie now? I, I enjoyed what I, what he was doing. I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t enjoy doing those things to torment you and hurt you, because you hurt me like Hell. I was getting better, I thought I was getting better until I saw where your priorities really were.” He paused again, he rubbed at his forehead feeling a dull pain.

Oswald moved closer to him, he started to reach out to touch his arm, but decided against that. “On the docks that….The Riddler isn’t you.” 

He shook his head, he looked towards him, that sad pleading look on his face again. “No, he isn’t me, not exactly. He’s a bit like my father, arrogant, brutish, and cruel….He’s even a bit like you, but I’m just the jittery stupid loser from the GCPD. He didn’t even have a name until I got tired, I got tired of fighting against him.” He looked at Oswald, he swallowed hard before reaching up to place a hand on his shoulder giving a gentle squeeze. “I didn’t want to shoot you, please believe me when I say that. I believed you when you told me that you loved me, I wanted to think that maybe you were right and we could go home and just talk things over, and figure it out from there….He told me you were lying, that we didn’t need you anymore. I was so tired Oswald, I’m still tired. Fighting him hurts.” 

Before he could respond Ed was hugging him, arms wrapped around his waist and his face buried against his shoulder as he sobbed. Cautiously Oswald held him back, hand rubbing his back as he allowed the other man to cry. This was certainly not what he had expected when he had arrived at the fight club, he felt essentially useless having no correct way to respond to any of what he’d told him.

“I’m sorry Ed, I’m sorry.”

He knew it was a too late apology, something that even at the right time still wouldn’t have been enough. He closed his eyes and just listened to the sound of his friend’s ragged breaths, he thought over every time it should have been quite clear that there was something wrong with Ed. If he had just thought of him for once instead of himself he could have noticed, he could have noticed, and he could have gotten him the help he needed.

“After all this is over we can get you help, we can find you a therapist outside of the city maybe. I at least owe it to you to get you help.” 

Ed pulled back to look at him, he rubbed at his eyes with the backs of his hands. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to, please just let me help. I really am sorry Ed, I never wanted to hurt you. You were always the last person I wanted to hurt or lose, please believe me.” 

He felt a pang of rejection when Ed moved away, back turned to him. He stepped up behind him, he reached out gently placing his hand against his back. “Please”

“Lee told me you were put in Arkham for killing a child, some orphan that you were supposedly close to.”

“You don’t believe I would actually do something like that, do you?”

Ed shook his head, he turned around to face him again, smiling sadly. “I know you better than that, neither of us are exactly the type to murder a child, there is never anything to gain from harming a child. What actually happened to him?” He asked curiously, voice gentle.

“I had Victor take him out of the city, to a safe house. Of course, that was before Victor decided to be a traitor and pledge his loyalty to that bitch. Martin is safe though, he’ll probably grow up to hate me and think that I’m a selfish prick, but I know that he’s safe. I also ensured he has enough money that he can make a good life for himself once he’s older.” Tears filled his eyes as he started thinking about all of it again, he looked away feeling almost ashamed of himself for crying.

“You really do love that kid, don’t you?” Ed asked, there was no mocking tone in his voice, nothing like the Riddler had had when laughing at him for his weakness of caring too much. Instead he sounded a bit confused, maybe even sounded sorry for him. 

“Yes, I do. I know it’s stupid or crazy, but I thought of him like a son or the closest I could ever have to such a thing…I even had thought about adopting him, I wanted to try and be a good father. I probably would have failed miserably, I seem to screw up when it comes to love.” 

He tensed when Ed took hold of his hand, his grasp gentle and unsure, he looked up at him waiting for the joke or the insult. “I’m sure that you took excellent care of him and he doesn’t hate you. He surely understands that you had to send him away for his own safety and maybe if you’d like, after al this is over with and you’re back in your rightful spot running the city again….We could go find that safe house and visit Martin, I’d actually like to get to meet him.”

“I don’t know where it’s even located-“

“I can find it, trust me, you know I’m far too good at finding things, and beside you’re willing to help me with my problem.”

Oswald smiled softly, he gave Ed’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Thank you…Ed, there’s something I want to ask, not that I exactly want the answer, but when you told me you don’t love me. Was that you or him?”

Ed stepped closer to him, he leaned down pressing his lip against his in a gentle kiss. Oswald tensed shocked by the feeling of soft full lips against his, he brought his free hand up to rest against his cheek, fingers brushing against his skin as he kissed him back. He felt relief flood him at finally being able to kiss him, every butterfly in his stomach feeling from nearly two years ago filling him again. The kiss ended, Ed leaned his forehead against his, smiling as he stared into his eyes. “It was him, I was always too scared to tell you before, but I do love you Oswald.”

He smiled brightly. “I love you too, I promise that I won’t screw this up again. I’m going to be better for you, you can move back in with me, and I’ll do anything I can to help you feel comfortable. I really do want you to be happy and then you can meet Martin, I know he’s going to love you.” He laughed looking down for a second. “He reminds me of you actually, smart child, he even has eyes like yours.”

Ed laughed, he kissed the bridge of his nose. “That is actually impossible for him to have my eyes, but the thought is sweet. I think first we should focus on getting you different clothes, I know it has to be driving you insane being stuck in that uniform.” He said gently tugging at the black and white striped shirt. 

He kissed him once more before pulling away and turning his attention to the nearest rack of clothes. Oswald walked over towards the vanity pulling out the worn wooden chair and sitting down. “Just be sure whatever you pick out for me is suitable, nothing garish or cheap looking.”

Ed looked back over his shoulder at him. “Of course, only the best….I would suggest my Penguin costume from my shows, but I doubt you would find the humor or appreciation in that.” He said before turning his attention back to searching through clothes.

“You know me very well.”

There was a familiar sort of a peace in the moment, he hummed along to the song playing on the stereo as he relaxed and watched Ed look through clothes. Despite everything else going on he felt happy for just a moment, he allowed himself to become distracted in this moment of peace he felt that he had rightfully earned and the knowledge that once Sofia was out of the picture, he could focus on a new start.


End file.
